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Quotes By Terry Pratchett


Famous Quotes & Quotations By Terry Pratchett:

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, The Fifth Elephant - Category: Marriage.

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Hogfather - Category: Education.

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Equal Rites - Category: Animals.

Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Discworld - Category: Fire, Giving, Men.

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Good Omens - Category: God.

Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Small Gods - Category: God.

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Small Gods - Category: God.

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it."Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Sourcery - Category: Animals, Death, Life.

In retrospect, Victor was always a little unclear about those next few minutes. That's the way it goes. The moments that change your life are the ones that happen suddenly, like the one where you die.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Moving Pictures - Category: Change.

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Jingo - Category: Blame.

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Hogfather - Category: Stupidity.

Revolutions always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Night Watch - Category: Stupidity.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Interesting Times - Category: Language.

Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Pyramids - Category: Belief.

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate...
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Feet of Clay - Category: Boldness, Stupidity.

[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Monstrous Regiment - Category: Patriotism.

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, Hogfather - Category: Lies, Truth.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot."
~ Terry Pratchett Quotes, The Colour of Magic - Category: Society.

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