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Sex Quotes


Famous Quotes & Quotations About Sex:

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, "I guess we answered that question."
~ Author Unknown.

A dirty book is rarely dusty.
~ Author Unknown.

A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.
~ Mae West.

A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: "Because everything does."
~ Honor Tracy.

A widespread taste for pornography means that nature is alerting us to some threat of extinction.
~ J.G. Ballard, News from the Sun, Myths of the Near Future, 1982.

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.
~ Karl Kraus.

After Momma gave birth to twelve of us kids, we put her up on a pedestal. It was mostly to keep Daddy away from her.
~ Dolly Parton.

AIDS obliges people to think of sex as having, possibly, the direst consequences: suicide. Or murder.
~ Susan Sontag.

An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.
~ Author Unknown.

An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.
~ Aldous Huxley.

An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.
~ Mae West.

Anticipation makes the hard-on longer.
~ Itsby Stevintary.

Any time you got nothing to do - and lots of time to do it - come on up.
~ Mae West.

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
~ Robert Byrne, quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said.

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
~ Casey Stengel.

Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
~ Aldous Huxley, Eyeless in Gaza, 1936.

Conservatives say teaching sex education in the public schools will promote promiscuity. With our education system? If we promote promiscuity the same way we promote math or science, they've got nothing to worry about.
~ Beverly Mickins.

Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.
~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
~ Murray Banks.

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
~ Woody Allen.

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
~ Author Unknown.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
~ Mark Twain, Notebooks.

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.
~ Author Unknown.

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
~ Jay Leno.

For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
~ Isabel Allende.

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